Wednesday, June 11, 2008

"His bloodmoney paid for our broken pieces."

I finally was able to go to church for the first time in a long time this past Sunday. It felt so good to go. I went to Journey with my friend Joe on Sunday and I really liked it. Miraculously I wasn't scheduled this upcoming Sunday so I am going again because the pastor wasn't there and I would like to hear him speak. I asked my manager if I could get Sunday mornings off from now on and he said he would try to let me have three a month off. I'll take that. I've missed church and I've missed being around people who are constantly seeking God. I am not saying that my friends aren't, but I've just been so busy lately that I just haven't been able to be around anyone let alone around a church body. The title of this post is a quote from Sunday's service and I don't know why but it really stuck with me. I've heard this said in many different ways throughout my Christian life but I think it was within the context that the analogy really hit me. I think I kind of woke up from the sleep I've been in for a few months.
This has been a hard couple of weeks. Things are getting to me that I feel shouldn't. I am letting myself get too stressed out and I went from being genuinely happy to just getting throught the weeks. I don't like living like that. I guess it could have something to do with working two jobs and 65 hours a week. It could also be due to my plan for this year not working out. I think I'm being taught a lesson. I don't get to always get my way. This lesson is hard for to learn apparently. So hard that I have to be hit over the head with it repeatedly. I also think that I am being taught the I am not superwoman despite what I like to think about myself. I can't do it all, and I especially can't do it all by myself. With how busy I am right now I've also stated to feel really lonley. I don't have time to truely connect with people right now and that's just not okay with me. I miss people and I miss having the energy and time to actually sit down with them and connect.
Wow, I don't know why I just spilled my guts on the internet for everyone to read but I guess I need to do it. People keep asking me what's wrong and I just haven't wanted to talk about it. Now I guess I can just refer them to this page.