Wednesday, June 11, 2008

"His bloodmoney paid for our broken pieces."

I finally was able to go to church for the first time in a long time this past Sunday. It felt so good to go. I went to Journey with my friend Joe on Sunday and I really liked it. Miraculously I wasn't scheduled this upcoming Sunday so I am going again because the pastor wasn't there and I would like to hear him speak. I asked my manager if I could get Sunday mornings off from now on and he said he would try to let me have three a month off. I'll take that. I've missed church and I've missed being around people who are constantly seeking God. I am not saying that my friends aren't, but I've just been so busy lately that I just haven't been able to be around anyone let alone around a church body. The title of this post is a quote from Sunday's service and I don't know why but it really stuck with me. I've heard this said in many different ways throughout my Christian life but I think it was within the context that the analogy really hit me. I think I kind of woke up from the sleep I've been in for a few months.
This has been a hard couple of weeks. Things are getting to me that I feel shouldn't. I am letting myself get too stressed out and I went from being genuinely happy to just getting throught the weeks. I don't like living like that. I guess it could have something to do with working two jobs and 65 hours a week. It could also be due to my plan for this year not working out. I think I'm being taught a lesson. I don't get to always get my way. This lesson is hard for to learn apparently. So hard that I have to be hit over the head with it repeatedly. I also think that I am being taught the I am not superwoman despite what I like to think about myself. I can't do it all, and I especially can't do it all by myself. With how busy I am right now I've also stated to feel really lonley. I don't have time to truely connect with people right now and that's just not okay with me. I miss people and I miss having the energy and time to actually sit down with them and connect.
Wow, I don't know why I just spilled my guts on the internet for everyone to read but I guess I need to do it. People keep asking me what's wrong and I just haven't wanted to talk about it. Now I guess I can just refer them to this page.

2 comments:

Sarah Gail said...

I love you, and I love that you posted this up here! :) Helps me feel a bit less out of the loop! :)

Lauren said...

Keep spilling! :) I'm glad you found Jesus again (was he missing?) and I'm glad he's keeping you calm and focused. FYI, I'm in the Bible, chapter three, that woman who helps people engage in drunken debauchery. Thought you needed fair warning.

Love you!